The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
