she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
