Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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