some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
