why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
