lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
