Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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