just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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