actually, I'm a sock model
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
