I hope mine doesn't look like that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
