Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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