i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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