Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
