I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
