he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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