My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
