In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
