would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
