where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
