my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
