Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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