I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
