Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
