I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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