perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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