Your mouth is God's brothel.
im holly from the hills drunk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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