I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
