i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Randomize
