I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
