i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
