is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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