and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
