It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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