Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
