your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
