Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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