life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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