So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
