we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
