Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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