May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
