AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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