Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
