i think my mom watched the whole time
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
