turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
