Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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