what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
