You're my little dorito
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
