I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
