Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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