i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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