she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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