I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
